June 2010
1 post
Trial by minor ordeal
Tonight could be bad. Ducki is going to be out potentially quite late and I may not get any real communication with him this evening. This is a situation that, rationally or not, makes me anxious. I am already planning ways of reducing the stress.
-Persuading Ducki to text me his whereabouts at midnight (so I know whether to wait up) and when he gets home. (seriously, I don’t care if that...
May 2010
10 posts
Somehow and somewhere
The ‘somehow and somewhere’ regime (ie being productive somewhere, somehow, for most of my time) has achieved grocery shopping, a long walk, clean sheets on my bed (my least favourite domestic chore, over with for a while), dirty sheets in the wash straight away rather than cluttering up the laundry pile (because for ONCE I changed the sheets while the drying areas were clear rather...
Productive, in a way
Today I wrote a little over 500 words of my current thesis component, which is the baseline that I’m really satisfied with once I’m past the initial stage of getting going with something. At the end of week one of the ‘somehow and somewhere’ regime (ie if I’m not being productive in my work, I need to go somewhere else - loosely speaking - and be productive somehow...
Better
Well, the health scare turned out to be nothing serious, and I’m pretty much recovered. That’s good for a start. And I’ve kept up the walking pretty well, after having been worried that it would take a while to get back into.
I’m still adjusting to being completely my own scheduler. But the work is happening! It is happening despite a weekend ill, despite keeping up with...
Midday I'm scared post
Not so scared, but nervous - have to go to the medical centre this afternoon about chest pains I’ve been having over the weekend. I’m not even trying to find anything good about that, just hoping I’ll get called a hypochondriac fairly politely and sent home. But I need to find some good points!
My handling of the situation and our different perspectives on it precipitated a...
Keeping the stress down and work rate up!
These have been my aims over the last week - keep plugging away at the conclusion to my thesis and don’t have a meltdown. I am aware that this time last year was when everything started to go haywire, in the weeks before I started this blog, up to the early posts here which have an edge of desperation I can see now with my 20-20 hindsight. This time of year isn’t easy - the heavily...
Daytime post - calming down to get to work
Today could have been good - a whole day with nothing to do but vote and work on my conclusion. Then the credit ran out on the gas. This is partly my fault - I should’ve topped it up yesterday. But I was a bit short on time to go to the shop, and emergency credit means having to buy more topup next time. And it had 50p on - for some silly reason I expected that to last until morning given...
Undramatic day
Today could’ve been a bit fraught, but wasn’t. Those days are something of a favourite of mine. An early email check revealed the proofs for correction for my book chapter (first publication - finally at a stage where I can be open about it!), which I had to read through line by line, luckily there were only two errors on there which I fed back to the editors without any fuss. I also...
Pre-sleep info dump
I have been back in the city for about a day and a half. I am appreciating things like being in my own space and able to plan and cook my meals, use the bathroom and do laundry without being constantly aware of how I am affecting others’ needs for these things. I walked both to and from work today, which is more walking than I’ve been doing in the village but it was worth staying in...
Last day of freedom...
Is a stupid title but that’s what it feels a bit like - the end of the vacation, travel tomorrow, back to work on Tuesday with a vengeance. Nonetheless, I do at least feel like I’ve had a bit of a break, been productive and generally drawn breath over the last few weeks - this is all in marked contrast to the Christmas vacation! I have achieved everything I listed in the last post, and...
April 2010
8 posts
Vacation roundup
Because, despite small bits of progress and having somehow accumulated 3,500 words of conclusion through this means, I am still feeling a bit down about not having completed the thing, I’m doing the end-of-vacation roundup a few days early.
-In the first week of the vacation, I completed the first draft of my final substantive chapter, in a last push after spending an hour or two a day on...
A day off!
I went into Cambridge and visited a friend I haven’t seen for a long time. Stopped in at the health food shop I used to buy my lunch at every day, and stocked up on vegan horseradish relish that doesn’t seem to be available anywhere else in the country. (places tried: Diss, Norwich, Nottingham, Manchester and Oxford) Also managed an hour-long country walk in the afternoon. And...
Another day
Today has been stressful for some reason I can’t quite put my finger on. I’ve felt nervous and easily rattled and unable to focus on anything for long. Nonetheless I have managed to write over 500 words of my conclusion and have a long walk with a different route than usual, and have fixed up to have a proper day off tomorrow visiting a friend. I am happy to have kept up the walking,...
Glimpses of sunshine
Today started with a few hours of cloud, followed by some rain. I felt the need to invoke the sun goddess by painting my nails yellow. ;) Nonetheless I managed to use the few hours of sunshine in the afternoon for a walk in my wellies, taking a slightly different route from usual to avoid boys mucking around on off-road motorbikes and instead going down a narrow and little-used path fenced in by...
And today...
I have managed a bit of progress on my conclusion, and kept the self-sabotaging feelings of not having done ‘quite enough’ to a minimum. My bank statement arrived and, while not wonderful, is not as dire as I thought it might be - I was literally shaking while I opened it and immediately after, which shows how much of an issue this is. The headache I had over the last couple of days is...
Travels and tribulations
Today I managed a relatively unstressy two hour train journey, literally shed a heavy load (a pile of marked essays for moderation and some overdue library books) and spent some time with a good friend who has been my neighbour at home and work for several years and won’t be for much longer. I even survived the heart-stopping moment of my door key going missing and turning up somewhere...
I may feel the need for this place more often!
Today I completed two job applications and filled in my mark spreadsheets, despite period pains and internet issues, in a little over two hours. I have also delayed the need to take painkillers, which is good because the ones that work best have the annoying side effect of nausea. I now have a trip to Norwich to look forward to, and the rest of today off.
October 2009
1 post
Hmm
This is the first time in ages I’ve felt the need to blog here - it isn’t that my life has been either perfect or devoid of even the smallest redeeming features, but more that I have been occupied finding practical solutions. I guess that’s a good thing. Tonight I’m lonely and at a loose end and for various reasons don’t feel able to go to bed yet. So here’s a...
September 2009
1 post
Obviously this isn't a daily blog
I guess it is a good thing that I haven’t posted as much. To an extent it means that the good parts of my life are more clearly evident than they have been for much of the last few months, meaning that I don’t feel the same pressing need to sit down and write a list to show myself that things aren’t so bad.
Having said that, looking back at past entries has helped me when...
August 2009
8 posts
Long time no post
Still recovering equilibrium, impeded by a cold. (no, nothing to do with pigs!) So I guess this is when I need to start picking out the good bits…
The cold that came on with a vengeance in the space of a train journey seems to be getting better
I had a good short visit with Duckula last week and have a longer (workified) one coming up
I have the chance to get 80s-d up in a little over a...
Full of beans
Gigantes recipe
Recipe: -1 small tin butter beans per person (so large tin for 2 i guess) -tomato puree -olive oil -garlic (about 2 cloves per person)… -a red pepper (or green or whatever) -dried mixed herbs Pour beans into an oven-safe dish, keeping the brine they are sold in. Stir in tomato puree until the liquid thickens. Pour in a fair bit of olive oil - enough to cover the beans. Chop...
Today's small happy things
I had a pretty good train journey (no delays, window open, not too crowded).
Homemade gigantes (Greek outsize baked beans) - bit of an emergency meal but came out ok.
Bath, hair wash, nail varnish and so on.
Ducki tomorrow!
Tired
I’m ok. Last night was stressful for various reasons - loneliness, uncertainty and so on - but I got through it and am feeling better today. I am back at the stage where I can distract myself with something small. (that isn’t innuendo!) One bit of uncertainty was about my visit to Ducki in a couple of days, but that’s definitely on now. I am hoping that last night was some of the...
Goffik princess
The roots of my hair are now the same colour as the rest of it! No photos cos this computer isn’t accepting my camera. Take my word that it makes me feel more like myself, and that I’m happy to have time to mess around with dye and a goth night to go to next week to show it off!
Still decompressing
…and trying to remember what the un-compressed version of me actually looks like! I have had a nice trip into the nearest town (known to the blogosphere as Duck City Central although nobody except a duck could regard it as a thriving metropolis…), bought a polka-dot dress in Oxfam and had a bit of air. I’ve been smiling a bit today at the accidental 80s-ness of my outfit - the...
Home
Currently at my folks’ place, known to the blogosphere as the Duckarchy. I am in a state of relief and trying to make that more positive! My last session with my summer class was yesterday afternoon and went pretty well. I marked some of their coursework and have slightly increased confidence about what they have learned. I had an evening of chatting to Ducki and packing clothes and not...
List
Feeling a bit emo, due to having put Duckula on a train earlier this afternoon. I always miss him even if the next time is on the horizon. :( So here are the highlights!
The weekend with Ducki went really well, despite my concussion still being in evidence and making me a bit grouchy and dizzy.
Ducki was really sweet about the dizzy spells and did things like fetch me water and coffee and take...
July 2009
35 posts
Two days, one list
Ok, normally I tend to gloss over exactly what has gone wrong in any given day. But since yesterday’s updates were limited to photos, I feel like explaining why the bright side was a bit hard to find. Basically I slipped on a leaflet on my floor on Sunday night and hit my head pretty hard. On the night itself I was more fussed about the bruises and carpet burns on my limbs to think about...
Periody Saturday
Today’s good things:
Ducki had some potentially good news that makes a few things fit into place with our visit.
Communication with the aforementioned Ducki throughout the day.
I have only needed two doses of relatively weak ibuprofen all day - the codeine stockpile stays untouched, meaning it is there when I do need it.
A free banana Nakd bar with a magazine and a raw food coffee...
Friday feeling?
Today’s good points:
I managed to stay on an even keel emotionally despite my incipient period.
I did a small amount of research work that is hopefully easing me into doing more.
Ducki has been really sweet and considerate when I haven’t been in a mood to be the best gf ever.
I have made plans with Blu that involve us doing stuff in one of my favourite cities and her meeting...
Day so far
Today had the potential to be bad and could still go either way, but has been redeemed a bit:
My (paid) work situation just got a bit less stressful with an adjustment in the marking arrangements. It means I have to spend less time on marking the first assignment and didn’t have to go in today.
I have done the most urgent of the faffy tasks I need to do for that job (revision class handout...
Home spa
It feels really decadent to have a bath and use a face mask in the middle of the day, but today that was possibly necessary to break the wall of poo that I woke up surrounded by. So I used some bath stuff that claimed to be vanilla, ginger and pink pepper although the subtleties were somewhat lost on my bunged-up nose, and a chocolate-flavoured moisture mask that looked a bit like either poo or...
Roundup
Today is seriously horrible for no real reason, so I may be making a post every time something happens to redeem it!
So here goes:
I had a mostly great weekend with Duckula. It had its ups and downs but there were enough ups.
I saw a steam train, just randomly passing through the station.
I got to watch Ducki being given an ironing lesson by his mum. I like seeing boys do domestic chores, even...
Slightly-less-blah-day
Today was more stressful than it should have been due to having to do some tasks that got in the way of my planned research day. And also having a bit more student-related hassle, which is harder when you think you’re on the home stretch. Nevermind, there were a few good things:
-Getting exam-setting and another less-than-fun task over with so I don’t have to worry about them for a...
Blah-day
It is difficult to post today, because the defining point of the day was something pretty crap. But there were nice highlights:
-Walking to and from work and having reasonable weather (dismal but not rainy and no extreme temperature) to do so.
-The small number of friends I discussed it with and Ducki being sympathetic about the bad news.
-Finding that the free photocopying credit added to my...
Panic over (for now)
My class went better than expected - there were a few hiccups (especially in terms of students turning up), but it was nothing like as bad as it had the potential to be. I made sure I bought some nice (quick and healthy) food to eat this evening, to recover from the less great aspects.
Preparing for adversity
I have another potentially stressful afternoon (for which I need to leave home in the next half hour), but am doing my best to fortify myself for it. I felt the need to dress pretty smartly so have dug up some nice trousers and a shirt that haven’t been worn for a long time, and think I look pretty dashing tbh. The nail varnish responded well to being touched up, and seems to go with more...
Commentary on Nick Griffin's 'boat sinking'... →
The first time I’ve managed to write any political commentary in ages, so something good came out of being angry.
Awake
It is quite rare for me to be up and (vaguely) active at 7am, but today I was up and wearing daytime clothing by that point and have nearly finished my morning’s internet rounds already!
Evening
I managed to buy a bottle of wine from the shop that refused my ID on Saturday. And, despite earlier stress, resisted the temptation to down the contents on the bus home.
Another work post
Today’s class is potentially more stressful than most due to missing one last week and having to explain the rearranged schedule to the students. Of course I’m nervous. But at least I’m dealing with it (so far) by getting some more research work done to keep my mind occupied. Normally I don’t manage to do much productive on teaching days so this is an improvement!